Penn Pandemic Diary Penn Pandemic Diary, Entry #37: America Can Do Better

The author is a doctoral student at the University of Pennsylvania.

The fear of a pandemic does not affect everyone equally. Poor, weak, and isolated people are the most exposed to the fear. As a nonresident alien from South Korea and student mom, I think it is worth sharing my personal experiences in the United States, a country of immigrants, during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Because I am a single caretaker of a young child, I endure a great many burdens every day. I have studied hard and raised my daughter alone. I believe I was doing well, at least before the pandemic, though I did not get enough sleep and struggled at times at work and home. When the pandemic began, however, the stay-at-home orders created a crisis that could not be overcome through individual willpower and effort.

First, my 5-year-old daughter’s elementary school closed. Since she was unable to control her computer or tablet by herself and struggled to sit alone at her desk for any length of time, I had to help. I also had to verify my child’s attendance every day through the school system, and every class activity and homework assignment required additional time and assistance. Keeping up with her homework has made it nearly impossible to keep up with mine: I’ve had very limited time for my research.

Second, as a minority and nonresident alien, I worried about getting sick amid rumors some Asians and Asian-Americans were being denied coverage. With high demand and so many beds in American hospitals, I feared being denied care. I also worried about costs. Some reports claimed that the overall cost of treatment for a coronavirus patient was over $30,000, an amount far beyond my capacity. In mid-March, I suffered from severe flu-like symptoms; however, I was afraid of going to the hospital because there were many infection cases in Philadelphia hospitals. Also, even the coronavirus test was not fully covered by the school insurance at that time.

Even worse, I have experienced anti-Asian harassment in public. Riding the train home from school, a man sat next to me and began to swear loudly about China and Chinese people. I was so uncomfortable, I wanted to move. But after I politely asked him to move aside, he blocked the path and demanded I make my request in Chinese. This harassment lasted at least five minutes, but none of the more than 20 other people on the train did anything to help me. When I asked for help from a man sitting in front of me, he just looked back for a few seconds and gestured a dismissal, never removing his AirPods. Finally, my racist seatmate got up and made room for me to leave.

For these reasons, I decided to return to my home country. Despite the expense of inflated airfare and accommodations during the required self-quarantine on arrival, as well as the potential risk of infection in airports and airplanes, I feel safer where medical treatment is guaranteed at a reasonable price to all citizens. I can also expect more supportive circumstances for my research and my daughter through the assistance provided in an urgent childcare system.

The damage from the pandemic will require a long period of recovery. Due to my reduced research time, graduation this semester has become impossible. Moreover, the academic job market has been frozen due to the economic crisis, yielding even more uncertainty. I have received emails from many schools that have stopped their hiring altogether, making the time I spent on applications a waste. I now must register for the fall semester (or a full year) to complete my doctoral dissertation and obtain another opportunity to apply on the academic job market.

When a person is in need, they see the true nature of society. The United States that I experienced during the 6 years I spent here had always been generous and inclusive. However, America during the pandemic has been cruel to foreigners, especially Asians, and those who look like us.

Coronavirus has demonstrated how meaningless national borders are. The virus easily crosses them and affects vulnerable groups regardless of their nationality. Many nations have been willing to share their lessons and surplus resources with other countries at risk. Now is the time for our understanding of our global community to evolve. We are indeed living through history. Although has been difficult to write, I wanted to share my story to encourage a better American society in the future.

The views expressed in the Penn Pandemic Diary are solely the author’s and not those of Penn or Perry World House.