We Still Can't Do It All

May 6, 2020 made me realize that the strict wall I’d erected between my professional research and my home life had crumbled. I awoke to see “Rape During Civil War” on my nightstand. I opened a drawer for the day’s hoodie and yoga pants and saw atop my dresser a trial transcript of graphic testimony from a civil war torture survivor. My formerly clear desk was now littered with books, drafts of dissertation chapters, and interview notes. And then I turned on the news to reporting of the fatal shooting of Ahmaud Arbery. The violence that I had worked so hard to confine to work now permeated every aspect of my life.

The global COVID-19 pandemic forced my work and personal space to become synonymous. In the ~250 square feet of my bedroom, I was expected to complete a dissertation about political violence as well as relax and recharge while thousands across the globe died from an unfamiliar virus and even more flooded streets across the globe to protest the continued injustices and violence directed at Black people.

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