GRIP, Internships Abroad Leap of Faith

Global Livingston Institute, Uganda

As the plane bounced across the runway and slowly decrescendoed into a gradual roll, an unexpected wave of dread washed over me. Looking outside my window at the yellow grasses and banana trees that sloped their way down to Lake Victoria, I began to second guess all of the decisions leading up to this moment. What if I am in the wrong place? What if there’s nobody here whom I can make friends with? Am I way over my head? Did I make a huge mistake? The feeling of first-day-of-school anxiety began flooding my brain with doubt. Suddenly, I felt very very far from home.

As I waited in line at border security, I distracted myself by making a checklist in my head of what I needed to do. I needed to clear customs, pick up my bag, go through an agricultural inspection, and locate my driver—Customs, bag, inspection, driver—no problem. Everything was going to be just fine.

But when my driver didn’t show up on time, my anxiety started to trickle back in. I had never been to Uganda before, and everything felt foreign to me—the language, the climate, the way that every man seemed to be wearing long pants even though the sun made the airport parking lot feel like a steam room. My mind raced with all the permutations of things that could go wrong. Once I eventually found my driver, I spent the car ride to my hostel looking out at the unfamiliar terrain. As we swerved passed motorcycles and speed bumps, nervous energy loomed over me that I couldn’t seem to shake off.

Three hours later, I was lying alone in my bed under the mosquito net. As far as I could tell, I was the only person staying in the hostel. I didn’t know what to do and didn’t have anybody to talk to, so I tried to pass the time. I unpacked my clothes, took a shower, and nibbled on a bit of food I picked up at the airport. But now, I couldn’t think of any other ways to distract myself. Then, just as my lonely thoughts began to settle in, I heard a knock on my door.

“Hello? Tucker? I’m Cat! I live right down the hall… would you maybe want to grab some dinner with me?”

I didn’t know it yet, but my summer had just begun.

This newsletter goes out to all the future GRIP students who might feel slightly nervous or uneasy during their first day in a new country or working a new job. I felt anxious too. It isn’t always easy moving across the world—especially if you’re doing it all alone. But I am here to tell you, as a GRIP graduate, that things will work out. You will find your people, and that first-day-of-school anxiety won’t be there forever. You just have to close your eyes, grit your teeth, and take that leap of faith.